Gabriel Read online

  I showered, washing the remnants of the past night’s adventures and his scent off my skin. After scrubbing the heavy makeup that remained on my face, I instantly felt lighter. I thought about washing my hair, then decided that would be too much trouble. I would only be cleaning up the bar. There wasn’t any need to get prettied up.

  Climbing out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around myself and took in my reflection. Bags sat under my eyes like bruises. My normally tanned skin looked pale. Too much to drink the night before and not enough sleep were not an attractive combination.

  I turned away from my reflection. It wasn't as if it mattered. I didn’t need to give the bar patrons something else to ogle at. By noon they would be too drunk to notice that I was less than a beauty queen anyway.

  I started brushing the tangled mess of what was left of my curls out while I mentally ran through a tally of what was left to do in the bar. Floors, tables, the bar needed wax. The kitchen could probably do with a good scrubbing too, since Bill, the cook, sure wasn’t doing it. My brush grabbed a particularly nasty tangle. I yanked at it impatiently, pulling the whole knot out by the roots.

  Suddenly the masculine scent of Gabriel filled my nostrils as if it had been trapped in that one tiny strand of hair. I closed my eyes and let myself fall back into that sweet moment.

  His hands on my skin.

  His warm lips kissing the back of my neck.

  Shivering, I imagined his hands finding their way up my thighs and under my dress.

  I couldn’t stop thinking of his kiss, the way his mouth felt against mine, questioning, seeking.

  I sighed, toweling off the remaining drops of water and shook the thoughts away. I didn't have time for daydreams.

  Not today or any day.

  I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and left the bathroom. It was still early, but I could tell that it was going to be another scorcher day. I tugged on my usual work clothes. A pair of cut-off jeans and a tank top. After a moment of thought, I slipped on a slightly stained white undershirt instead. With all the dirty work I needed to do at the bar, I didn't want to mess up something nice.

  When I stepped out of the bathroom, the gold clutch caught my eye. Why had I left it on the bar? Did I unconsciously want him to follow me? I could still see his eyes. They had been so bright and intense when he looked at me.

  Shaking my head, I shoved the purse in a drawer and slammed it shut. I had too much on my plate to waste time fantasizing about Gabriel from last night. I shoved my keys into my pocket and slipped out of my bedroom door.

  Tiptoeing down the hall of the small apartment, I bypassed the living room. My father's deep snores echoed in the tiny space. I grabbed my sneakers and went out the front door, locking it gently behind me. Nothing angered my father more than being woken up from an alcoholic haze. I wasn’t in the mood to be dealing with him this morning either.

  Outside the humid air was already heating up. Thank goodness the bar was only a few blocks away from the apartment. It didn’t take long before the short walk was over, and I was on the front steps of the Speakeasy Bar.

  Our bar was an absolute dive. I knew that. Everyone in town knew that.

  The damn place had been forced on me after my father had gotten too messed up to run it by himself. Unlocking the door, I let myself in. The air was musty and stale in the weak morning sunlight.

  Turning on the lights, I looked around. Most of the booths had ripped seats with the stuffing falling out. We couldn’t afford to repair them, much less have the booths replaced with new ones. I would need to cover the new rips with tape before we opened. Like I did every morning.

  I wondered, not for the first time, if I should just let the bank take the place. Ashamed for thinking such a negative thought, I shook my head and settled down to work. A long while later, the bell rang alerting me that someone had entered the bar.

  Shit! I forgot to lock the damn door!

  “We’re closed!” I yelled out.

  I’d been cleaning for hours and was sweating. I wiped my brow with my forearm and came out from the back of the kitchen. I hurried to the cash register to make sure it was locked. I didn’t need to be robbed on top of everything else.

  In my hurry, I bumped the shelf behind the counter, knocking off a photo of my brother, Terry and his unit. Brother-in-arms, or something like that. I groaned as I picked up the frame and wiped the glass with my hand.

  “What the fuck.”

  My voice failed me as I stared wide-eyed at the picture. Crouching beside my older brother was none other than Gabriel from last night.

  “You son of a bitch,” I muttered and shook my head.

  I heard the door slam shut and footsteps approached. I placed the frame back on the counter and ran my fingers through my hair, bunching it up at the crown of my head. I was exhausted and frustrated as hell.

  “I'm sorry but we're closed,” I said as I turned around and stopped mid-sentence.

  He’d combed his hair back from his forehead and his eyes were clear and wide with shock. He was wearing a nice pair of jeans with a starched, white button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled up above the elbows. He leaned on the cane with one hand while the other held a gift-wrapped box.

  “I'm looking for Lynnette,” he said softly.

  The sound of my real name sent a hot shiver through my body.

  My eyes flicked back to the picture on the bar. To the photo of my brother in the Army with his unit. There standing next to him in the photograph was the man who stood before me now.

  “You’re this Gabriel,” I said, holding up the photo and pointing to it with my other hand.

  He nodded and swallowed hard.

  “And you’re Lynette? You look different.”

  “Different than I did last night? Yeah well, you clearly had a different objective then,” I snapped.

  Heat rushed to my face.

  Last night had obviously been some sort of set up. He’d known who I was all along and played me like a fool.

  He lifted the hand with the cane using two fingers to signal peace.

  “No, I meant different from your picture.”

  He sat the box down gently on the nearby table. Pulling his wallet out of his back pocket, he took a folded picture out and handed it to me.

  I took it from his offering fingers. The picture was from my high school graduation. Nearly eight years before. I handed the picture back to him and he shook his head.

  “No, keep it. It's yours. I should’ve never had it in the first place.”

  I refolded the picture and pushed it into my pocket.

  “I've grown up a bit since then.”

  “I can see that.”

  I sighed in disgust and shook my head.

  “What the hell are you here for? Putting flowers on a grave for real?”

  He pushed his hair back with his free hand.

  “Can I sit down for a minute?”

  I crossed my arms, wary of his presence.

  “Terry's been dead for three years. Why are you here now? You didn’t even come for the funeral.”

  He let out a long breath.

  “I couldn't come sooner. Could we please sit down?”

  “Fine,” I sighed and motioned to the table. “What were you doing at the club last night?”

  “I just went for a drink, I swear.”

  “Right, so you didn't know I was going to be there?”

  “No, I didn't,” he said and glanced up at me. “How could I have possibly known that? Could you please sit down so that I don’t have to look up at you?”

  My face was an immovable mask as I sat, but I could feel my heart pounding against my chest.

  Gabriel was really here.

  His green eyes were locked onto mine as I slid into the chair across from him. I looked at the box he had set on the table just to break his steady gaze.

  “So,” I said, fighting the shake in my voice. “What were you really doing there? Did you follow me to the club or somethin
g?”

  “No! That was a coincidence. You saw how close it was to the hotel. I just wanted to have a couple of drinks before I had to do,” he motioned to the bar, then to me, “this.”

  I raised an eyebrow.

  “You didn't have a problem doing “this”,” I said pointing at myself, “last night. You expect me to believe that you had no clue who I was?”

  “No, I didn’t. Please believe me. If I had known.” He shrugged. “I'm not some sort of spy.” There was a slight edge to his voice, to match my own.

  “I'm supposed to believe you? That it's just a big coincidence. The girl you're here to see just happens to be in the random club you went to. Yeah, right.”

  “I'm telling the truth. I just got lucky. I'm sorry. I didn't even know who you were. You told me your name was Lynn. And it’s not like there’s a ton of bars in this town.”

  “Well, I thought you were just some guy trying to pick up a girl to fuck,” I hissed back.

  “I wasn't. I told you last night that we didn't have to do anything.”

  “I only agreed to sleep with you because I thought I was never going to see you again.”

  “Thanks a lot!” Gabriel threw his hands up in exasperation. “This really isn't how I wanted things to go.” His eyes flicked away from me as he continued. “I came here to apologize to you.

  “About what?” I asked and crossed my arms like a pouting child.

  “About Terry.”

  A chill ran through me. Even after three years, my brother's death still rattled me. Even though he had left me with this mess to deal with to run off to the Army it still shook me.

  When I spoke all the venom was gone from my voice.

  “There's nothing left to talk about, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. He's gone and he’s never coming back.”

  “There is more to talk about,” he said, looking away.

  I scowled and tilted my head at him.

  “And what would that be? The past can’t be changed.”

  His eyes were filled with pain and regret, but I wasn't sure whether it was genuine, or if he was just a big fat liar. When he hesitated, I raised my eyebrows expectantly.

  “Your brother’s death for one thing.”

  “You’re here to talk about Terry’s death?”

  “Yes.”

  “Were you there with him?”

  “Yes, I was.”

  I didn't expect his answer to be yes, nor did I expect the lump that had instantly formed in my throat. I blinked the unexpected tears away.

  “And?”

  “It was all my fault.”

  Chapter Four

  Gabriel

  Those five words had been the reason I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in three years.

  I looked at her and saw she was on the verge of slapping me. A mixture of anger, confusion and bitterness crossed her face. I waited for her to react.

  “Well, thank you for sharing that, but it doesn’t matter,” she said.

  “Of course, it matters.”

  “Why exactly are you here? You think just because you managed to fuck me, that you can now screw with my mind as well?”

  “No, that’s not why I’m here.”

  “Like I said, Terry's gone. Nothing anyone can say or do will bring him back. Not your feeble-assed apologies, or your pensive little stare, or that fake limp you made up just to win my sympathy.”

  “It’s not fake. I can show you.”

  “Spare me.”

  She held her hands up in the air and stood up.

  “It’s done now. You've laid your flowers on the proverbial grave. Now please leave. I’m busy and have things to do.”.

  My hand snaked across the table, grasping hers. Just like last night, her heat seared me, warming me from the inside out. It was different from the heat outside, different from anything I’d ever felt. It was intense, and I wasn't sure whether it was her anger, or her fiery nature that I was so incredibly attracted to.

  She looked down at my hand and I slowly wrapped my fingers around her wrist.

  “Wait, please,” I said.

  “Why?”

  “Because I came all this way to talk to you.”

  “I thought you said you were here on business.”

  “I am. This is my business.”

  She narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously.

  “Just sit down, please,” I said. “For five minutes. That’s all I’m asking. Let’s talk, and even if you don’t want to talk to me, just let me talk to you. Give me a chance to say what I need to say. Then I’ll leave, I promise.”

  “Fine.” She sat back down in the chair with a loud sigh. “I’ll give you five minutes and not a minute more. I’m listening,” she said with a soft voice.

  I nodded and released her hand.

  She leaned back in the booth and crossed her arms in a defensive gesture.

  “Your brother was my best friend in the field. I think you may have known that.”

  She nodded.

  “We were blowing some enemy munitions at the end of the day. I didn't canvas the area properly. There was another stash close by that we didn’t know about. When we blew the first one, it set off the second and that's what. . .” My voice trailed off again and the memories flooded back.

  I still could hear the explosions, and the screams in my mind. I couldn't look at her. Hell, I couldn't even look at myself sometimes. I had been ridden with guilt ever since it happened.

  I failed Terry.

  I failed myself, and now I had to live with the guilt for the rest of my life.

  Survivor’s guilt they call it.

  The guilt of being alive when others died.

  When she sighed, I managed to look at her. She scowled at me, sadness hidden in her eyes and she nodded slowly.

  “Alright. I get it,” she said. “Thank you for telling me. Now that you’ve gotten this off your chest, you can go.”

  “Lynette.” I sighed, but she stood up from the chair and walked to the counter. “Please.”

  She glanced back at me. The tears were visible in her eyes, though she was fighting hard to hard them. I saw them, and she knew it. That’s why she turned away. She wanted to be strong.

  “I have to get back to work. The bar opens soon, and there's still a lot I have to do.”

  “Wait.”

  “What is it, Gabriel?” she asked impatiently.

  “I promised Terry I would make sure you were okay. And he wanted me to tell you something.”

  A bitter laugh spilled from her lips and she shook her head.

  “I don’t want to hear it.”

  I made my way over to her, resting my hand on her now trembling shoulders.

  “I’m sorry, I just wanted to…”

  “What? Make sure I'm okay? My big brother sent his best friend from the war to make sure that I'm okay as his dying wish? Yeah, right.”

  The hurt radiated in her voice. My jaw clenched.

  “I'm glad you decided to finally honor my brother's wishes or whatever, but you're a little late. I'm a big girl now. I don't need a knight with a bad leg to come save me. I’m doing fine on my own.”

  “Yeah, I can see that.”

  “You’re crossing a very dangerous line. I suggest you leave.”

  “Not yet.”

  Lynette was infuriating me. I understood she needed to pretend to be strong because sometimes that’s the only way to get through the day. She might have everyone else around her fooled, but not me.

  Looking at her tired, yet beautiful face I had to admit, I preferred her looking like this than dressed in a slinky gold dress that barely covered her ass. As luscious as it was.

  The woman who stood before me right now with dirty clothes and an exhausted, yet temperamental look on her face, was the real deal.

  “No, you can go. I’m fine, so consider your debt paid,” she hissed.

  “No, it’s not. Let me help you. With something, anything. You're exhausted.”


  I reached out to her, and to my surprise, she didn't back away. She allowed me to touch her face, my thumb tracing the dark line under her eye.

  “Please, let me help you with something.”

  She was momentarily stilled, but then regained that feistiness and smacked my hand away.

  “Cut it out! I said I was fine and I meant it. “

  I wasn't going to win this one, so I simply nodded.

  “That box,” I said, pointing at the elaborate gift-wrapped package on the table, “is for you. I thought you should have it.”

  “Whatever, Army boy. Just get out. The bar will be opening soon and I’m way behind. I’ve got work to do. You’ve taken up too much of my time as it is.”

  With one long last look at her face, I turned back to the table and grabbed my cane. Clearly there was nothing I could do or say that would change the way she felt at this moment, so there was no point. I had pressed her enough and she clearly didn't like it. I continued out the door without another word.

  She followed closely behind me and locked the door with a loud click as soon as I was outside. I noticed she didn't say good-bye, not that I expected her to.

  I stood outside on the sidewalk in the sunlight, trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do next. I had an obligation, and I couldn't just walk away, but how could I stay when she wanted me gone?

  I leaned against the side of the building out of her sight and pondered my next move. If Lynette thinks she can get rid of me so easily, she’s in for a big disappointment.

  I made a promise that I intend to keep.

  Chapter Five

  Lynette

  The Speakeasy was busy for a Thursday night. I was behind the bar filling orders. The baseball game blasted loudly on the TV above me.

  By nine, I had already stopped thinking about the visit from Gabriel, being too wrapped up in the running of the bar. One of my waitresses had called in sick so we were short staffed, as usual. The regular bar patrons kept me hopping which wasn’t a bad thing. Being overwhelmed gave me less time to think.

  “Lynette! Get me another beer!”

  “What happened to my order of fries?”

  “Your sweet ass is looking mighty fine tonight in those shorts, Lynette!”